Secrets Close to the Heart
by TwirlyPasta
Summary: Secrets are sometimes better left untold, but that doesn't mean that they don't all come pouring out and in Roxy and Ronnie's case thats what their going to do. Will it rip Walford apart? And just who is that mysterious young girl?
1. Chapter 1

Secrets Close to The Heart

**Hey guys this is my first ever fanfic so I hope you like it. Please Read and Review. Enjoy!  
****Soph x**

Disclaimer - Eastenders is owned by the BBC and all the characters, sadly I do not. This is a fanfiction based only on the TV show.

Chapter 1

She was a young girl, maybe 15, it was hard to tell as the lightest grey flannel tracksuit and baseball cap that shadowed her face concealed most of her appearance. Small tufts of white blonde hair however did poke through and her slim build seemed hidden under the baggy clothes. The mysterious teen was alone and on the run, down the station steps she fled pausing only to lean on the wall for breathe. A circular sign was above her, she was panting and out of breath as she leant against the wall not caring about the looks she was receiving from the other passengers.

Looking up behind her she mumbled, **"Walford East",** well at least she had finally got here. That was the last time she tried sneaking on the train with no fare she thought to herself, who knew conductors could run so fast? Hearing the thunder of the conductors feet running in her direction she moved quickly panicking and pushing her way though the crowds, elbowing into the dense rush of people. She was nearing the entrance when suddenly she was knocked off her feet and into a certain Peggy Mitchell returning from a shopping trip with Ben. The bags went flying everywhere along with the girl's baseball cap as longish white blonde hair fell out.

**"OI! Watch where you going!",** Peggy yelled irritated already by this girl. Her voice echoed throughout the entire station as many people watched on at this rather dramatic scene unfold for a Monday morning in the tube station. The girl however did not even seem to care at all as all she could do was stay still on the floor, an irritated expression on her face.

Peggy was becoming impatient, **"Well you gonna sit there all day or pick these bags up! I'm not gonna wait all day!",** Peggy said.

Ben pulled on Peggy's sleeve, **"Gran…"** he said in a quiet whisper.

**"Not now Ben."** Peggy answered arms crossed waiting for this girl to pick up their bags.

The girl just sat and gaped at her rather taken aback as she stared straight back into Peggy's eyes not intimidated by her. She then quickly grabbed her cap pulling it back over her head before dashing off once again out into the busy streets of Walford. Leaving Peggy with her arms crossed rather annoyed.

**"Gran…"** Ben insisted a little louder this time as people began to go about their daily routines once again. The excitement quickly forgotten and business went back to normal.

**"Ben I said not now",** Peggy replied picking up the shopping herself.

**"But look!".** He bent down and grasped something long and rather thin in his hand. A small silver locket, on a long fine chain, which somehow seemed very familiar.

_'To my Sweetheart. Love you forever, Mum x'_ sighing Peggy pocked it and left the station with Ben back to the Queen Vic.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ronnie was sat eating toast in the kitchen, staring into space she had a business meeting later with Jack today and she was dreading it. Well that's what she told herself at least, _'No second chances, that's me'_ she thought with a small sigh. As she took another bite of toast Roxy came into the kitchen and walked straight over to the fridge taking out the orange juice.

**"Good Morning to you too Sleeping Beauty"** Ronnie laughed at Roxy's hair which looked like fluffy road kill and the mascara panda eyes from the wild night before.

**"Morning, yes. Good, no"** Roxy groaned as she sat down and drunk out of the carton spitting it back in after one sip.

**"Roxy! That's disgusting what's Aunty Peg gonna say?"** Ronnie said trying to sound stern but struggling to hide her giggles at the sight of her sister.

**"Well she wont find out will she."** Roxy said sticking her tongue out at Ronnie she took another sip of the orange and winced, **"What the hells wrong with that orange?"**

Ronnie laughed at her sister, **"There's no vodka in it."**

**"Oh…right"** Roxy laughed too as she took another sip out of the carton and put it back in the fridge, she turned around to see Ronnie's less than impressed expression and skipped happily out of the kitchen smiling.

Ronnie got up and put her plate in the sink, **"Right I'm off. Got a business meeting today at the club."** she yelled to Roxy in her room, **"Tell Aunty Peg I'll be back for the lunch shift for sure though."**

Ronnie waited for an answer, **"ROX!"** she yelled.

**"YEAH I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME"** Roxy said emerging from the other room, **"Though it was me with the big lungs…"** she mumbled loud enough though for Ronnie to hear.

Ronnie stuck her tongue out at Roxy this time, **"See ya later I'm off to my meeting"** she picked up the clubs account books from the table.

**"With Jack?"** Roxy enquired.

Ronnie sighed, **"Yes with Jack, he is my business partner after all and that's all he is Rox."**

Roxy looked at her sceptically.

Ronnie walked up to her sister, **"I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice don't worry!"** she said pinching her chin as she grinned at her. She got a small smile in return. She let go and walked out pausing at the door, **"Unlike you who after this hangover has disappeared will go out on the town and get drunk off your head and look like your dead next Saturday morning too."**

"**HaHa very funny."** Roxy said sarcastically. **"But seriously, Ron, just don't let him walk over you again. Its good to have you back to normal and I don't wanna loose you."** Ronnie was touched and gave her sister a hug which she returned.

"**Yeah, its good to be back" **Ronnie said smiling at Roxy before she walked out of the kitchen. As soon as she was out of sight her smile faltered **"At least I think."** she mumbled rubbing her head, it was going to be a tough day.

--

It was almost midday with the sun shining outside the stalls busy and people going about their daily business as the same girl from the station wanders around the square taking a crumpled piece of paper out of her hoodie pocket. Smoothing it out she looked up at the sign for R&R, **"Here we go then no turning back now..."** she mumbled to herself brushing her hair out of her eyes and entering the club.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jack was sat at his desk hitting buttons hard of his calculator his desk piled high with paperwork. Things between him and Ronnie has been pretty distant lately and she always was the better one at the paperwork, the numbers just wouldn't seem to add up. Too much on his mind, her to be exact. Chewing the end of his pencil a small cough made him look up to the office door.

**"Is Ronnie or Roxy here?"** the young girl in the hoodie and grey flannel tracksuit asked.

**"Sorry love your underage your gonna have to get out."** he said confused at the sudden appearance of this rather rough looking girl.

**"Is Veronica or Roxanne Mitchell here?"** she said bluntly showing no emotion.

**"I think the way it goes is you tell me who you are and _then_ I tell you where they are."** Jack laughed pushing his chair out from the desk and crossing his arms.

**"So you do know."** she calmly replied still trying to show no emotion, to keep her face as hard as stone yet her eyes let her down as they were brimming with tears. Her voice began to crack, **"Just tell me…please."** she said as she wiped the nearly falling tears from her eyes.

Jack's heart felt for this poor young girl. "**Try the Queen Vic, just round the corner"** he told her gently standing up out of his chair, **"Do you want some water or something before you go? You don't have to tell me anything…."** he paused looking at her. She wiped her tears nodding, **"OK".** Jack smiled at her before leaving the office. The girl sighed grabbing a pad and fluffy pen quickly from Ronnie's desk.

He returned a few minutes later to find the office empty leaving the glass of water on the desk. Making his way round the bar the girl was no where to be seen **"Hello?!"** Jack yelled as the fire door slammed loudly shut. It was then he noticed the folded note on Ronnie's desk addressees to club dude. He had to laugh out loud at this at read aloud to himself.

_Club Dude,_

_Thanks for the water. Sorry I couldn't stick around, things to do and people to see. You know. The address hint saved me some time too._

_Sorry_

_EM x_

EM? Who had the initials round here something beginning with M, no one Jack knew he didn't think, there was the Masoods or the Millers though that seemed unlikely. Wait she was asking for Ronnie and Roxy. A Mitchell? That could only be a question they could answer he supposed, teenage cousin? You never now round here he thought.

Sighing he placed the note in the recycling bin and carried on with his paperwork. Ronnie couldn't't not be impressed by a improvement in the books, so he set to work.

Meanwhile she sprinted away from the club wiping her tears with her sleeve as she leant on the railing of the square sliding down to be huddled on the floor. That's when she saw it the Queen Vic, sighing she just sat there in the gardens of the square.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ronnie made her way across the busy square to the club fiddling with her fringe as she walked and brung the small wisps of hair that framed her face down from the pony tail. This wasn't anything to do with seeing Jack at the club, she tried to persuade herself. Sometimes she really hated him just because she couldn't seem to get him out of her head. Her thoughts were filled with im and it was driving her crazy, but the weird thing was she wouldn't get rid of them for the world. But she couldn't tell him that. No. Never.

Suddenly a petite figure covered in a dark hoodie and cap ran past her knocking her out of her daydream. Barley being able to keep on her feet she spun round trying to see where she had gone but they had disappeared. Straightening her jacket she noticed she had somehow arrived at the club.

Her internal debate had lasted her the entire walk from the Queen Vic and before she knew what she was doing her pointy heels were clicking down the stairs and taking her into the club office. Taking a deep breath outside the door she went and smiled in Jack's direction yet he didn't even raise his head as he carried on flicking through the file frowning at it. "God he looks cute when he's confused." she thought before she could stop herself quickly trying to shake the though out of her head. Yet Jack still didn't look up.  
Slightly disappointed to say the least Ronnie made her way over to her desk and sat down sighing as she saw the workload that had built up for her, sifting her way thorough the first pile of papers she didn't notice Jack get up out of his seat. He made his way over to her and lent right into her neck.

"Hello stranger." Jack whispered in her ear with a cocky smirk on his face knowing that this would undoubtedly do to her. Oh this was going to be fun.

As Jack predicted the close contact sent shivers down Ronnie's spin, resisting had never felt so hard she thought as she felt his breathe tickling her neck. But Veronica Mitchell was strong. She spun round to face him in her chair trying to hid the red blush that threatened to take over her face.

"Finished being too busy to say Hi now then I see." she answered teasing him with a small smile. Two could play at this game.

Jack sat perched on the edge of her desk unable to believe his luck, not only was she talking to him but he could swear she was flirting wasn't she? Ronnie put her pen down and looked up at him expectantly. Jack realised that instead of replying he had just been staring at her smiling for the past minute, pulling himself together he spoke, "Well you know me, work must come first" he teased back, "The books all up to your high standards then?".

"Well I've got to admit you have improved, but I think I'm still better, I'm a woman you see we always will be better." she smiled flicking through the closest folder which to be honest she wasn't reading at all, be he didn't have to know that.

"Better at what exactly, paperwork or something else?" Jack grinned, no way was he letting her win this, gloating was her speciality.

Ronnie blushed at this but hid it well, "Isn't that for you to find out. Mr ex-detective"

"Hello stranger." Jack whispered in her ear with a cocky smirk on his face knowing that this would undoubtedly do to her. Oh this was going to be fun.

As Jack predicted the close contact sent shivers down Ronnie's spin, resisting had never felt so hard she thought as she felt his breathe tickling her neck. But Veronica Mitchell was strong. She spun round to face him in her chair trying to hid the red blush that threatened to take over her face.

"Finished being too busy to say Hi now then I see." she answered teasing him with a small smile. Two could play at this game.

Jack sat perched on the edge of her desk unable to believe his luck, not only was she talking to him but he could swear she was flirting wasn't she? Ronnie put her pen down and looked up at him expectantly. Jack realised that instead of replying he had just been staring at her smiling for the past minute, pulling himself together he spoke, "Well you know me, work must come first" he teased back, "The books all up to your high standards then?".

"Well I've got to admit you have improved, but I think I'm still better, I'm a woman you see we always will be better." she smiled flicking through the closest folder which to be honest she wasn't reading at all, be he didn't have to know that.

"Better at what exactly, paperwork or something else?" Jack grinned, no way was he letting her win this, gloating was her speciality.

Ronnie blushed at this but hid it well, "Isn't that for you to find out. Mr ex-detective"

"Hmm might take you up on that offer" Jack said as he lent slowly in towards Ronnie loosing himself in the moment, yet he braced himself for another knock-back. Yet the moments passed and Ronnie found herself not being able to resist and her eyes closing. It just felt right. Their lips brushed for a slight second sending chills down Ronnie's spine, he still drove her crazy. When suddenly the sound of the Nokia ring tone echoed throughout the office, it was Ronnie's mobile on the desk, which was vibrating to the tune. Jack groaned as Ronnie reluctantly pulled away resting her face just inches from his. She stayed there for what seemed an eternity yet the phone kept ringing. 'I knew it' she thought sadly, 'It's a sign, what am I doing?'.

Ronnie leant back slightly more to let and grabbed her phone off the desk leaving Jack looking rather disappointed. "Just leave it he groaned" reaching out to try and grab her hands and pull her back towards him.

"I can't its Peggy, I said I'd be back by now" she answered looking up at the clock. She pressed the answer button as Jack walked back over to his desk.

"Hey Auntie Peg…. Yeah I'm sorry just got a bit caught up and…" Jack smirked with Ronnie at this as she made a face at him to shut up yet smirking back unable to stop herself. As Peggy interrupted her on the phone she stopped talking abruptly, her face suddenly turned to worry as she ran to grab her jacket form her chair as she gathered all her stuff together.

"Alright I'll be there in a minute I'm leaving like now." she said panicking and hung up throwing her phone in her pocket. By this time Jack was seriously worried about the reason behind Peggy's call. Ronnie wasn't on to panic, she kept her cool always. Well okay the Sea punch wasn't exactly keeping her cool, but even Jack had to agree he was asking for it.

"Ron?" He asked her trying to grab her arm to slow her down rushing about the office making more mess than there was to begin with.

"Its Roxy, ….she's fainted again and…. and…. she's in the hospital, they think is something wrong with the baby." Ronnie said trying to breathe through her sentence and not cry in front of Jack. "I knew something would go wrong again, I just knew it" she said more quietly to herself this time, the words hidden were by the cracking in her voice caused by the nearby tears.

"You want me to take you to the hospital now?, Dawn can look after the club and open up its not as important as this", Jack said holding her hands still wanting to support her, he looked down at them and then back up to he and smiled. Secretly he wished she refuse, he wanted to be there for Ronnie but this baby might be his, he'd have to lie to Ronnie and stand there while his baby clung on to life. He wished it had never happened but a baby was a baby and he wasn't going to punish him or her for his mistakes.

She returned the smile touched at his offer, maybe he did care after all?, "No its OK Peggy's going down now, Christian went in the ambulance with her, I'd better go she'll be waiting." Ronnie made her way out of the office and got halfway up the stairs when Jack called her and ran to the office door.

"Oh before I forget some girl was looking for you and Roxy, sounded pretty important, she didn't leave a name though." Jack told her.

"Thanks I gotta go, talk later yeah?" Ronnie asked hopefully, pushing the recent new out of her head she was just too busy to think about anything else but her sister, what could ever be more important? Jack sensed her inner worry and squeezed her hand softly, glad she didn't pull away.

"It'll be OK Ron." Jack assured her. Ronnie smiled and head back up the stairs leaving Jack to return to his office and sit unable not to smile as he spun around like a little boy in his swivel chair, maybe things were finally working out. She did the weirdest things to him. The question remained though would Ronnie let him in to her heart again?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ronnie hated hospitals. Always had. But most of all she hated how they smelt, like a mixture of cleaning products, antiseptic, medicine, and sterile sheets. Yet here she was sat in the waiting room of the Walford General once again, waiting for any news on Roxy.

The hospital itself was busy with people and doctors when suddenly an older couple sat in the corner caught her eye. Holding hands and smiling at one another they look well into their eighties but still so in love. Ronnie sighed, maybe she was holding herself back from that sort of happiness. But was it worth the risk was the question she kept replaying in her mind. What if she got hurt again she couldn't handle that again. A nurse walked over to where they were sat and interrupted Ronnie's thoughts.

**"Are you Miss Mitchell's family?"** the nurse asked Ronnie and Peggy, looking down to her clip board.

**"Yes that's us, is Roxy ok?"** Ronnie asked concerned.

The nurse smiled at her comfortingly, **"Well we can safely say its nothing serious, but we've taken some routine tests as a precaution, the results should be with you soon.",**she said. **"In the meantime though Roxanne is fine to return home."**

Ronnie and Peggy smiled relived. Peggy turned to look at Ronnie, **"Told you she'd be fine!**" she said squeezing her hand**,"Now lets go get her home, Ben's worried stiff poor thing."**

Ronnie smiled at Peggy as they made there way into Roxy's ward.

They made their way over to Roxy's bed where she was painting her toenails. Ronnie couldn't help but smile at her.

**"Hey babe you sure your allowed to do that in here?"** She asked plonking herself down on her bed careful not to knock the glittery purple polish on the floor.

**"What they don't know can't hurt 'em"** Roxy replied sticking her tongue out. **"God its depressing in here, sick people everywhere. I could catch anything you know! I could be dying as we speak all cause I didn't eat breakfast I bet. Bet you I was just hungry, that's why I fainted."** she said sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth slightly concentring on her last few unpainted nails.

**"Proper little doctor aren't you." **her elder sister teased,** "Anyway the _real _doctors just spoken to us."** Ronnie told her sister glad she was back to her normal self, maybe the doctor were right, maybe she was fine.

**"She says you can come home"** Peggy said to Roxy as her face turned to a smile for the first time since they'd arrived.

**"Then what the hell are we still doing here?"** she said screwing the lid on her nail polish as she walked round getting her stuff while trying not to smudge her toe nails.

**"Yeah, you might wanna wait till they dry"** Ronnie said laughing at her sister waddling around the hospital room.

--

The girl had been sat on the bench for a good 30 minutes now her tears had finally dried yet her face was still red and blotchy. Her pocket suddenly began to vibrate. Pulling out her phone of her pocket sliding it up she read the text.

**_Em where the hell r u? I cant cover 4 u much longer Ry x_**

Closing the phone quite aggressively with a loud groan she stood up from the bench. It was now or never.

Your reviews mean the world to me and of course constuctive criticism if of course welcome.

Soph x


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ronnie drove Roxy's car into the square and pulled up in front of the Queen Vic. Dusk was falling over Albert Square and the locals were headed to the pub after a long week. Friday nights were always bust and this was no exception. Sighing Ronnie pulled the car to a gentle halt and took off her seatbelt.

**"I must say Ronnie its nice being in Roxy's car and not being worried about being at my death bed for once."** Peggy said jokingly laughing as Roxy pulled an irritated expression from the back seat.

**"And what's that supposed to mean?"** she said crossing her arms becoming annoyed, just cause she'd been in hospital didn't mean she was going to take that.

**"That she's not surprised it took you 27 tries to get your drivers licence!"** Ronnie exclaimed laughing an getting out of the car.

Peggy turned to look at Roxy in the back seat, **"What 27 goes?"** she asked amazed.

Roxy got out of the car trying to hide the smile that was threatening to ruin her fake annoyed look, **"I'll have you know that those examiners just didn't like me, it was all a set up."** she said making her way into the Vic.

Ronnie locked the car after opening the door for Peggy to get out, she looked around to check that Roxy had gone inside before turning to Peggy. **"What she means is that it look her 27 goes before she got an examiner that was an guy she could flirt with enough to make him pass her."** she grinned before heading inside herself.

Peggy just shook her head smiling before following her, with the amount of punters in all ready this was going to be a long night.

--

Making her way over to the Vic, Em took a deep breath, **"God, never thought this was gonna be so hard, come on Em."** pulling her hood down she pushed open the doors to the Vic and walked inside. As she looked around at the busy pub everyone stopped and stared, she hadn't even thought of what she must look like in her grey trackie and her hair flattened and messed up due to the baseball cap. Trying to shrug off her insecurities and ignore the people starting at her intently she made her way over to the bar. Phil made his way over to her less than impressed at her appearance in his pub.

**"Look love your underage your gonna have to get outta here."** he said pointing to the door. Before adding in a lower tone, **"And maybe a shower you look like you need it.".**

**"I'm looking for Veronica and Roxanne Mitchell, I've been told their here."** she asked trying to sound confident but secretly she was dying inside what if she'd got the wrong place, she'd look a right idiot. No turning back now though.

**"Look love I'm not gonna let some strange girl into my house to see them so…"** Phil said his voice getting louder as she interrupted him.

**"So you do know them. Look all I wanna do is see Ronnie or Roxy. I'm.."** just as she was about to explain herself Roxy appeared at the bar.

**"Look Phil its only a small vodka just don't tell Ronnie she'll…"** she suddenly stopped as she noticed everyone was quiet and Phil staring at a strange girl in a baseball cap.

**"Roxy, this girl claims to knows you. So who the hell is she, and what's she doing in my pub?"** Phil asked her annoyed at the scene being cause in his pub disrupting the busy night, this couldn't be good for business.

Roxy looked confused at the girl trying to think who she could be before leaning on the bar and speaking softly to her, **"I'm sorry sweetie if I'm meant to know who you are but…"** the girl interrupted her, **"Rox"** she laughed slightly more due to how uncomfortable she was feeling than amused. She removed her cap slowly letting her white blonde hair fall to her shoulders.

**"It's me, Emily."** she said in a barley audible whisper.

Roxy said nothing looking straight at this girl in disbelief. Emily just stared back, _'God maybe she doesn't recognise me she thought, I knew this was a bad idea…'_. But before she could turn and run out of the Vic Roxy came over to the other side of the bar and engulfed her in a big hug.

Roxy cried out loud with excitement, **"Good to see you Babe, missed you sooo much!"** she then whispered in her ear, **"Although I've gotta tell you, you've looked better!"**

Emily smiled at her, **"So everyone's been saying. Though I gotta say right back at ya! Your as pale as anything."** she said sticking her tongue out.

**"Come on upstairs Em,"** Roxy said excited choosing to conveniently ignore the last comment, **"Ronnie's gonna freak when she see's you."** As she pulled Emily by the hand round the back of the bar and upstairs. Emily just looked worried the smile wiped off her face. _'Yeah, freak'_ she though, '_That doesn't sound too good._'

As they left the silent pub Phil just stood there astounded at what had happened. **"Show's over people now either drink up or go home and watch crap TV if your that bothered about gawping at something!"** and with that the noise of the pub soon returned.

Thanks so much for all your comments special mention to GEMZiiE for my first story alert! ) Chapter 7 will be up tomorrow where finally Em and Ronnie will meet. But is everything as it seems?


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for the long wait, I've had exams at school and been as busy as a bee these past few weeks, but i'm back onto my writing now with plenty of time, so i hope your still reading and enjoying! So here's Chapter 7. Soph x

Chapter 7

**"Roxy slow down your pulling my arm off!"** Emily yelled laughing as Roxy turned to face her as they reached the Vic landing.

**"Sorry Sweetie I'm just so excited to see you!"** she said apologetically as she brushed off Emily's arm jokingly, **"My god you've grown up so much, so tell me the truth how many boyfriends you had I wanna know it all!"** She said smiling with her tongue sticking out slightly.

**"You don't waste much time so you!"** Emily laughed at Roxy, **"Missed you like mad though"** she told her as she hugged Roxy tightly.

**"ROX?"** is that you a voice yelled from the kitchen. Emily broke from the hug and stared at Roxy, who stared straight back at her.

**"Come on. Don't worry she don't bite. That's just Albert"** Roxy told her gently trying desperately to lighten the situation, sadly though this was being lost on Emily. Who was staring intently at the kitchen where the voice had come from.

Roxy saw this and dragged her by the arm through. Ronnie was stood with her back to them washing the dishes in the sink. Roxy let out a small cough alerting Ronnie to their presence.

**"There you are god thought you'd got lost again, cause that was not pretty the first time." she laughed as she spoke and turned around drying her hands, "I mean how many people…"** she stopped suddenly as she saw who was stood before her.

**"Wha…Are…No…You can't…"**Staring in disbelief she tried to get the word out but they just wouldn't come. Emily looked hurt that she couldn't even speak to her as tears threatened to fall down her cheeks at any minute.

**"Look I'd better be gone, I shouldn't have come"** Emily said upset as she turned her back on the sisters in an attempt to hide her tears from them. Roxy stared at Ronnie who also had tears strolling down her face to say something, she opened her mouth but no words came out.

Not realising Ronnie's true feeling's Emily picked her cap up off the table where she had place it and put it on her head and walked out of the door. She got to the top of the stairs when she felt a hand on her shoulder, gentle yet forceful at the same time. She spun around to be greeted by Ronnie and a small smile.

In a small voice Ronnie spoke to her for the first, **"Come here Emily."** she said with her arms open for a hug. Emily just stared at her, she sometimes couldn't figure out the true feeling's behind Ronnie's façade but the eyes said it all. She had finally accepted who she was.

Forcing a small smile though the tears she plunged herself on Ronnie hugging her tight as she responded doing the same. Both stayed like this clinging on to one another as if for dear life, not wanting to let go and find the other suddenly gone. Roxy just stood by the door and smiled at the pair before leaving them to some time together.

Emily noticed this and smiled before pulling back form the hug and smiling at Ronnie, **"Love you Mum".** At this Ronnie just pulled her into her body tighter, **"Love you too Em, and I'll never let you go again. I promise."** and this was a promise she was determined to keep.

Reviews are great hint hint ) Soph x


	8. Chapter 8

Double update to make up for the long break, chapter 9 is nearly done and should be up soon. The real drama is soon to come don't worry!

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 8

A while later Ronnie and Emily were sat next to each other in the kitchen, both their tears dried yet their faces still blotchy and red. Emily had clasp hold of her Mum's hand tight under the table a while back, adamant not to let go despite however clammy it was becoming. She was loving the warm sense of security that it washed over her. She'd found her again, her Mum and she felt safe and so very loved, a feeling she had been craving for some time now. It wasn't that she wasn't happy before so to speak, life was OK but there always felt like their was something missing. And now she realised what that was, something she couldn't believe she didn't realise before. Her Mum.

Little did she know but Ronnie wouldn't of let her remove her hand from her grasp if she tried. Her little baby girl was so grown up now, so beautiful and so perfect in every way. Yet despite this she still let her go. Missing so many important times in her life since; the years of falling off bikes, first day at senior school, countless Christmases when she woke in the morning full of the magic, being their for her to cry out her problems too or just laughing with her through the good times. She wasn't there, and she never thought she'd be able to forgive herself for that.

As they sat there each absorbed in their own thoughts Roxy walked into the kitchen confused by the silence between the two. She got a glass of water from the sink and stood starting at them for a few minutes, yet neither spoke. Finally she spoke up.

**"What are you too doing? You telepathic now or something?"** she said. Ronnie looked up at her sister and smiled slightly before looking back to Emily. Roxy sat down with them.

**"So what you doing here all of a sudden sweetie?"** Ronnie said gently to Emily, realizing how it might sound, as if she wanted to get rid of her which couldn't be further from the truth at all. So she began to stutter awkwardly, **"Not that I don't want you here or anything Em, just…I…um.."** she didn't know why but she was nervous talking to her after all this time. It was only Em, why on earth was she nervous?

Emily smiled at her Mum's nerves, her tummy too was home to a whole flock of butterflies at the moment. **"I don't know I guess I just wanted to see you, I missed you Mum."** Emily said lying though her teeth and she did it very well, well she ought to by now she'd had enough practice. But this time it was different from all the others, it was to Mum. She hated lying to her Mum, especially this soon but it was only a small white lie she reasoned with herself, the last part was all true so it wasn't a real lie. She really had missed her so, so much. A lie can't be a lie if there's some truth can there?

Ronnie smiled unable to come up with the words to reply, the guilt of leaving her behind eating her away from the inside out. Thankfully for her Roxy butted in, **"We missed you too Em."** she elbowed Ronnie in the side, **"Didn't we Ron..?".** Ronnie got the message, "**So much Emily its untrue.",** Emily couldn't help the smile that over took her face with this. Ronnie returned this, that wasn't too hard she though, it was just she'd got so used to hiding her feelings that showing them again felt like a small battle inside of her.

**"What you been up to then babes?",** Roxy asked feeling left out of this mother-daughter moment.

**"Oh you know nothing much."** Emily began uncomfortably willing to leave it there, but seeing her mum and aunties expectant faces she carried on, **"Schools been OK, got in at the one down in Devon, ya know the ballet one I always wanted to audition for."** she clarified to sort out Roxy's confused expression. **"So Dad got a transfer to another office in the company and we all moved down there. Well me, Dad, Fran, Ryan and Lucy I mean."** She saw their faces look confused at the mention of the names, but she carried on anyway they were gonna find out sooner or later. She just wished she could go for the later option.

**"Fran's dad's new girlfriend, well I say girlfriend more like partner I suppose. Lucy's their daughter see she's… um 2 I think now. Right madam, hopefully won't take after her Mum, she's thick as that goldfish I got from the fair when I was like 7. Seriously." **Emily told them.

Ronnie and Roxy couldn't help but laugh at this, finally Emily felt herself relaxing into the situation. Like she was finally at home.

She carried on smiling,** "You didn't hear that off me, Ok!,"** she giggled at this sticking her tongue slightly out as she did. After a comfortable silence she carried on.

**"Ryan's awesome though, Fran's son from her other marriage."** Her smiled was quickly wiped form her face at this memory, **"His dad's dead."** she stared into space for a moment before carrying on. Trying to shake the memory out of her head.

"**Em you don't have to carry on you know. If you don't want us..."** Ronnie reassured her worried.

**"No its fine. The past is the past right?"** She said forcing a very fake smile. Before taking a deep breath and starting again. This was harder than she'd thought, she always imagined this to be the easy bit but it was like tiptoeing round eggshells.

**"Ryan, sometimes it I think he's the only normal one outta the lot of em. Nothing like his mum." "Thank God."** she added as an afterthought. **"You'd love him, I do. He's a seriously awesome big brother." **She faltered for a moment at the word brother before carrying on,** "Doesn't mind driving you to town when its raining either. Bit annoying when your mates all can't talk to him cause they fancy him too much. Mia goes all quite and stutters loads. You remember Mia right?"** she asked.

**"Of course, she was round so much it was almost like you were joined. Still friends?"** Ronnie smiled, finally something she new already, this talk was making her realize just how much growing up Em had done. Without her.

Emily grinned wide, **"More like sisters!".**

A comfortable silence grew throughout the room between them. Emily stirred the hot chocolate Ronnie had made her a while ago but had been too hot to drink with the spoon before licking it thoughtfully.

**"I miss him."** she blurted out. **"Ry I mean. Don't really see em all that much anymore ya see, cause I'm at school most of the time."** Emily said sadly obviously thinking about him.

**"What do you mean sweetie your at school all the time? I mean I hated it too and I know it felt like your were there for like forever but what about weekends and stuff you've got like two full days to spend together!"** Roxy said confused slightly, **"I know I could never get rid of Ronnie enough!"** she said with a giggle shielding herself form the playful slap Ronnie gave her on the arm. Emily smiled at them before speaking once again.

**"I board. Most people do."** she said as her mothers face turned stone serious like she remembered from the arguments. Her and dad were always arguing…all that shouting and pain. She tried to shake the unhappy memory out of her head

"**He made you board. He got rid of you like that. Sent you packing!**" Ronnie said gradually becoming more angry, **"Bet it was her idea. I knew he'd do something like, this they never change, he…"** she was now yelling while Emily looked on in fear. She was always scared of her Mum like this it was like things had never changed. She interrupted in pure desperation.

**"NO!"** she yelled silencing Ronnie straight away. Happy it had worked she carried on but quieter this time, "**Look I know what happened and that night with the argument and… yeah."** she said sadly looking to the floor**, "But after the divorce things did get better and it was my fault anyway."** Em dared to look up at her Mum's eyes again who were confused by this last comment and almost hurt. She looked down again quickly.

**"What I mean is I wanted to, Dad, he was really against it too to begin with, but I wouldn't take no for an answer."** Ronnie's face softened again ashamed of her outburst, **"Didn't want me going. But I managed to persuade him. You'd of been proud me Mum didn't' back down I didn't!"** she giggled trying to lighten the atmosphere, **"Its great really like a home away from well I suppose _'home'_"** she said doing apostrophe marks in the air with her fingers as she said it. **"Its like a proper little family kind of, we drive Matron mad though as she puts it, 'You Emily-Rose Bingham spend to much of the day with your heads in the clouds!"** She said with a cheeky grin putting on a posh accent and sticking her nose in the air. **"Grumpy cow she is. Caught her doing the tango with the broom one night, so we filmed her and stuck it on You tube. 20,000 hits in one night, honest!"**

Roxy and Emily laughed at this while Ronnie tried to put on a disapproving face while hiding her own giggles yet still at the same time hurt by the painful memories this meeting was bring back. But she couldn't let Emily see this, it wasn't her fault. It was her.

**"Ew mental images there Em that I didn't want!"** Roxy exclaimed putting her hands over her ears while still laughing uncontrollably. Emily just stuck her tongue out at her aunt, this was how she remembered things. Happy times but she supposed that was a long time ago… before she went and ruined it all. It was all her fault she thought upset.

**"Where all your stuff then Em?"** Ronnie said breaking up the laughter. **"Um only really got that bag there**" she said pointing to the English National Ballet Bag by the door. **"Was a bit of a spur of the moment trip"** she carried on looking sheepish at the floor.

**"So I take it school haven't got a clue where you are, as well as your father?"** Ronnie asked sternly.

**"Love to say no. But yeah that's pretty much it."** Em replied looking at the floor.

Ronnie smiled she hasn't changed one bit really, **"You naughty girl. Go on get in the shower I'll find you some pyjamas okay?"**

Emily grinned at her mum,** "Does this mean I can stay?"**

**Ronnie just laughed, "Go on and I'll think about it" she** said as Emily got off her chair and went towards the door Ronnie was pointing to leaving Roxy and Ronnie alone.

Ronnie sighed putting her head in her hand as the smile was wiped from her face.

**"What was that for?"** Roxy asked confused at her sister.

**"She's just so grown up"** Ronnie said sadly fiddling with her locket, "and I've missed it all, what sort of a mum am I?"

**"Ron that girl came on her own all the way from Devon to see you. If that isn't complete love then I don't know what is. So you missed a few years, she's still got a lot of growing up to do she's only 14 for god sake, and you'll be there for that. She's given you the chance Ron to get to know here again. You just gotta take it."** Roxy told her grasping her sister's hand.

Taking a deep breathe Ronnie spoke slightly taken aback, **"I better go get those pyjamas for her."** She got up to leave the room but stopped for a moment at the door,** "You know what Rox you really can take sense sometimes."** she said with a smile, **"Thanks sis"** she said as she went through to her bedroom.

Roxy just sat there in awe at everything that had just happened. Emily was back. Ronnie was happier than she'd seen her in a long time. God if only she could rewind time. Why did she have to ruin everything. Pulling a letter from the hospital they had given her out of her pocket she put her head in her hands, Roxanne Mitchell was going to mess up her sisters life yet again. And now Emily's too. Wiping her eyes trying to stop the tears about to fall he put her head in her hands, **"Your welcome sis."**

_Hope you enjoyed please Read & Review! Virtual hugs for everyone who does!_

_Sophie x_


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry its taken me so long to get the next chapter up came back from holiday and all my school exams and was plagued with writers block! Not good, but i think i'm back into the writing now and the next update should be by the end of the week. **

**Hope your still enjoying. Soph x**

**Chapter 9**

Emily got out of the shower in the bathroom and pulled on her Mum's dressing gown she had left for her on the door. Pulling around herself on she inhaled her familiar scent, the comforting smell of her perfume, roses like it had always been. _'At least some things never change'_, she thought with a smile. Seeing her grinning face in the mirror's reflection she giggled slightly to herself before grabbing the brush from the side, pulling it though her wet hair which had turned dark brown cause of the water, instead her usual light blonde. She finished quickly and put the brush down making her way though to Ronnie's room.

There she found her Mum there rummaging through her drawers searching for something, the pyjamas she been promised Emily presumed. Sure enough she pulled out a pair of small pink shorts and a white vest top placing them in Emily's hands, which she began to put on. They fit perfectly making Ronnie smile.

**"Bought those for your birthday next month. You used to love pink. It was pink this, pink that. _'Barbie had a pink house, I'm going to live in a pink house Mummy_', "** she laughed remembering the old days, **"Had no idea of your size though. Not a bad guess I'd say."** Ronnie said with a hint of sadness in her voice, she should know her own daughter's size not guess at it, '_I should know a lot of things I don't'_, she thought the guilt filling her.

**"They're perfect Mum"** Emily replied looking at the top and fiddling with the ribbon tie. It was then she noticed the silver locket on her Mum's dresser. It was all too familiar. She still had it.

She slowly moved towards the dresser picking the silver chain up gingerly, as she did she looked towards her Mum for permission to open it. Silently Ronnie smiled and nodded for her to carry on. It was part of both of them after all.

Emily's attention turned back to the heart locket as she carefully opened it seeing a old and slightly battered picture of a small baby inside. Her she presumed. Even though she was a few days old she could see it was her the nose was the same, something she knew she'd got off her Mum. Along with her eyes. It was weird though the eyes were a different colour, but babies eyes can change colour she'd once heard. It seemed a shame though, she'd always wanted blue eyes, brown would have to do though she supposed.

It was then she noticed the other picture, a picture she had not seen before. It was the last picture they had taken together, she was about 5 she guessed by her hair which was in bunches tied with ribbons, she not worn her hair like that in years. Not since she'd left. She remembered that day from the photo so well. The fair ground rides surrounded them in the background as they sat on a wall grinning into the camera in each other arms. In her hand there was a large pink candyfloss stick almost as big as her head with the sun shining down almost as bright as the happiness radiating from their faces, her Mum's smile and her own toothless grin really got to her. They had been so happy.

--

**"Mummy, Mummy, MUMMY"** Emily had yelled excitedly trying to get Ronnie's attention. The younger Emily pulled on Ronnie's jeans attempting to get her to bob down to her level, Ronnie sighed smiling at her while turning back to her mobile, **"Not now Ed, Em needs me",** she paused for a moment letting the other person talk, **"Oh I can't be doing with this now. Later, OK?."** she said rather forcefully and hung up her mobile putting in the her pocket. She smiled down at Emily her face immediately softening, **"What is it Sweetie?"** she questioned bobbing down to her level.

She was met by Emily's toothless grin right in her face, her angelic blonde curls meant saying no to what ever she wanted would be very tricky indeed, **"Can I have some candy-floss? Pwease? Pretty Pwease?",** her 5 year old daughter asked jumping up and down like a hyperactive kangaroo.

**"Go on then",** Ronnie said buying it for her from the man at the stall, after all this was their day out, they were away from everything that had been going on in ages and Em deserved it. **"Cause you're my special little girl, you know that right?"**, she said to Emily as she passed her the gigantic candy-floss stick. Emily just nodded quickly before quickly taking a huge bite out of the candy-floss, something told Ronnie she hadn't quite been listening.

It was while they were sat on the wall eating the candy-floss that a strike of colour caught Ronnie's eye, **"Do you want to go say Hi?",** she questioned Emily while pointing over to the 'Winnie the Pooh' in the corner, one of the worst costumes arguably Ronnie had ever seen but the all the other kids huddled around him seemed to love it.

Emily just stared at the man in the awful costumes blankly, her eyes wide,** "No."** she whispered almost unable to be heard while clutching onto her Mum's side. Ronnie stood up off the wall and picked up Emily in her arms resting her on her hip, manoeuvring her so the candy floss didn't suddenly appear stuck in her hair the next day.

**"You sure?",** Ronnie asked, it wasn't like Emily to be shy,** "He seems very friendly, look what if I come too? Would you like that?".**

Emily looked again towards Winnie and then back to her mother nodding her head slightly in agreement, **"Ok.",** she said in a slightly louder whisper still outwardly unsure. Ronnie walked slowly over towards the crowd of children and 'Winnie the Pooh', as they drew close she felt Emily clutch tighter.

**"Say Hi",** she encouraged her, but Emily just kept her mouth shut lips clap tightly tighter as she shook her head burying in to Ronnie's shoulder.

She mouthed to the man in the costume, _'She's a bit shy'_, he nodded slightly before speaking in his best bear voice, **"Hello little girl what's your name?",** Ronnie really had to contain her giggles, what she'd do for Emily.

Then surprisingly Ronnie heard a small squeaking sound form her shoulder, **"Emily**", her daughter whispered. Winnie put a hand to his ear causing Ronnie to smile, **"I don't think he heard you Sweetie",** she said.

**"Emily.",** Emily repeated louder this time removing showing her face once again removing it form Ronnie's shoulder fidgeting trying to get down from her mother's arms. Ronnie did as she wanted and put her down by the bear. He turned to speak to another little boy but stopped as he felt a small hand pulling on his tail, Emily's hand.

Grinning cheekily, clearly over her nerves from only a few moments ago, she beckoned him to come down to her level. He did as she wanted, clearly amused as she cupped her fingers round his ear, trying to tell him something. Ronnie watched on proud her daughter was back to her normal cheeky self, these nerves were so unlike her, but she'd been having a tough time lately, who could blame her for being a bit insecure really… While she remembered the problems of the present, problems she had forgotten for a rare moment she was brought out of her day dream by a loud amount of shrieking from the many children gather round.

She glanced up to see Emily stood there grinning her head off with 'Winnie's' head in her hands. A surprised man stood there staring at her with his costume's head, he really wasn't expecting Emily at all the pull his head off in one clean sweep, as the other boys and girls ran back to their parents, many crying at Winnie now being headless.

Unable to contain her own laughter at the scene and the bear mean running after her daughter with his head she bent down and picked Emily up.

**"You naughty thing!",** she laughed as the man snatched his head back giving Ronnie dirty looks, before storming off.

**"He was lying though Mummy, he was no real Winnie the Pooh."** Emily said in an angelic voice smiling at her Mum.

**"How did you know that then Sweetie?" **Ronnie asked her, she couldn't exactly tell her he was real now, that illusion was pretty much ruined.

**"I asked him if he liked honey, like I did. But he said No. But real Winnie loves honey Mummy. He was 'tending",** She answered proud that she'd figured it all out on her own. **"Oh he was pretending was he? Naughty Winnie!"** Ronnie said bemused at all of this.

But she had to smile at her budding detective skills, **"Come on then cheeky, I think after all that work someone deserves some lunch.",** she told her as they walked towards the food court, leaving the confused kids and their bemused parents behind.

--

Emily and Ronnie both smiled remembering clearly this perfect day. One of the last perfect days they had together for a long while. Emily just sat there unable to think of anything else to say, nothing could quiet sum up how she was feeling, the words just didn't do her rollercoaster emotions justice. Instead she sat there with the locket still clasp tightly in her hand her fingers brushing the picture softly. Smiling at her daughter Ronnie was about to speak but Emily beat her too it.

**"You kept it."** Emily said in a barley audible whisper, even she hadn't expected anything to come out of her mouth.

Sitting next to her gently and taking her free hand Ronnie smiled, **"Of course I did, there wasn't a day go by I didn't think about you, you know.**" she said.

Grinning back with her brace filled grin Emily touched her own neck, **" Ditto"** she smiled as she felt for her familiar chain. **"Look"** she said but the smiled soon faded. It wasn't there instead her hands just met her bare skin, there was no necklace. Not anymore.

In despair Emily jumped up running to her bag in the corner, desperately emptying the entire contents searching for her most treasured possession. **"Where is it?"** she cried, **"No, No, It can't be, Its not here."** she kept repeating to herself as she rifled though her belongings. Throwing her few clothes she had brought with her on the floor along with her green I-Pod Nano, Lip-gloss and Eyeliner, her Mobile, a pack of Kleenex tissues, a small zebra striped purse, a crumpled up picture from last summer with Ryan, Mia and herself and of course her treasured pink silk ballet shoes, Emily finally had to admit defeat. The necklace was gone, lost.

She just sat the in amongst all her belongings crying, Ronnie came over gently towards her crouched down to her level letting her arms wrap around her. Emily made no attempt to stop crying as she just let her mother hold her.

After 10 minutes Emily had finally calmed down enough for her breathing to return to normal at least. **"What's wrong Em?"** Ronnie asked carefully.

She took a deep breath, speaking slowly to avoid any more tears leaking,** "I've lost it. I've lost my locket."** she answered in a shaky voice, **"The one you gave me for my 7th Birthday after you left, my locket."**

**"Don't matter babe."** Ronnie replied brushing her wet strand of hair from her face. **"It's only a silly little locket, something to remind you of me when I wasn't there when…. Well you know"** she said becoming awkward at the mention of the past, there was an uncomfortable silence before she began again in her more gentle tone, **"But I'm here now and always will be. That's what matters, not some little locket.**" she told her softly.

There was a short pause as Emily contemplated this, maybe her Mum was right who needed a locket filled with just memories of the past, something she didn't really want to replay in her mind, when you had the real thing once again, now in the present? But how long did she have it for this time, what's to say its different?

"**You promise that?",** Emily asked slightly scared of her answer, she so badly wanted to be assured that it will all turn out OK but what if she said 'No'. She'd rather live in false hope than have no hope at all. She averted her glance away from her Mum's unable to look in her eyes if the answer was _No. 'No.' 'No._' she just kept repeated in her head until…

**"Yes."**

Emily looked up at her mum confused, had she heard right? Ronnie sighed her daughters confusion and pulled her into a hug wiping her own tears.

**"I'll always be here for you now Em. You just try and get rid of me."** Ronnie told her talking into the mass of white blonde hair covering Emily's head, **"And believe me Roxy's tried"** She added trying to lighten the atmosphere, the amount they had cried today felt like enough to fill an entire sea.

Emily smiled, finally things were how she'd always wanted them, how they should of always been. But she supposed better late than never. And now never was not a possibility. This was now, the past was finally that, the past. But how long can mistakes be forgotten for?

Pushing the thoughts out of her head she pulled form the hug grinning up to her Mum with her tear stained face, **"Good I'd like that. And you know what, I still love pink."**


End file.
